I found the style and narrative, the poem overall, adorable. What's there to say, it's incredibly creative and it works. Heck, I've had a horrible day and this poem still brought a little smile on my face.

That was quite interesting. Very interesting indeed. I see the message in it and I am quite frightened of what he future holds sometimes. Nice work!

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May God help me if I ever have to use my art...

I have one question (no large critique).

What is this poem about?

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Loving everyone, and wanting nothing, is the key to appearing immortal in the eyes of a Greater God.

Clever use of words. '2nd line - 2nd stanza' is the only area that seems off to me. Otherwise... I have to say, I didnt know you had this in you. Great work.

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k. myst williams
i will stop at nothing to be a god.


As the last line says...

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Your humbleness is showing:

I'm curious as to what you think the message is - if you're interested in giving me your reading, I'd appreciate it. If not, no worries; glad you took something away.

Adios!

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Your humbleness is showing:

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Your humbleness is showing:

I'd have to say the message is that on the one hand you have someone who is eager to leave his simplistic life for something he deems more glamorous...something that has been deemed glamorous and desireable by the media and all those who hold the reigns for the future...the "higher-ups..." if you will...that decide the "what's hot and what's not" type of things that are sensationalized in society now-a-days.

On the other...you have the complete negligence of people to the beauty in the simplistic things that they have.

I'm merely frightened of the fact that that seems to be the norm for everything now...to be ashamed of the wonderful naturalness that was once glamorous at a time when the word "excess" didn't exist on such a loud scale...how now all those wonderful things hold no merit or value.

That's what I took away from it...was I even close to your original reason for writing this piece?

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May God help me if I ever have to use my art...

well, it jumps from farming to hopes, which is okay, but then it jumps to Oscars, digging holes in the ground, and then back to the helpless farmer talking to sea gulls and potatoes or something..just sounds like average person in mental institution on his pipe...haha./I have no idea.

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Loving everyone, and wanting nothing, is the key to appearing immortal in the eyes of a Greater God.