[x]

deviantART

 

dreaming, the cricket sounds by ~boundlessgravity:iconboundlessgravity:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Nature > Open








dreaming,
the cricket sounds
               impatient.





*






california:
       an orange
     under the orange tree






*







each day passing this boulder,
      thinking I’ll meditate.
             the weather gets warm.







*







In the town in which my car breaks down:

The lawyer’s yard
is filled with
yellow flowers.







*






spring supper: two bees
          nodding in the rain






*






moon through the tree
   hung with
         mistletoe globes.






*





                  night
my footsteps stop
trundling skunk, trundling skunk...






©2006-2009 ~boundlessgravity
Details
Submitted: April 12, 2006
File Size: 1.7 KB
Image Size: 0 bytes
Resolution: 0×0
Comments: 97
Favourites & Collections: 46 [who?]

Views
Total: 2,102
Today: 0

Downloads
Total: 291
Today: 0

Thumb

Author's Comments

Another series of haiku-like little ones, grouped together for convenience.
Daily Deviation, 2006-06-22

Daily Deviationdreaming, the cricket sounds by *boundlessgravity is a late night stroll wih just your thoughts to capture photographs of nature. (Featured by `imperfect)

[x]

Devious Comments

love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0

Comments


~manchaliaina:iconmanchaliaina: Apr 12, 2006, 4:22:53 AM
trundling skunk is about the best group of sounds I can think of and doubling them is wow. Puts me in mind of Plath's "trepanned veteran / dirty girl / thumb stump", though that's a different kind of context. Just beautiful word love there.

--
heaven * I need a drug * her eyes are all but fixed upon her coffee cup * looking down she tells you things are looking up * take another slug * heaven * I had a dream

website - [link] | blog - [link]
!inziladun:iconinziladun: Apr 12, 2006, 4:46:56 AM
I don't know what that last one is about, but most of the rest are fantastic. the one with the 'title' (not a common practice but very acceptable in this way) is my favourite, the links and winks and correlations are small and brilliant. and the nodding bees are very funny and still endearing, very Issa.

--
but, mainly, Stay Classy
~originill:iconoriginill: Apr 12, 2006, 7:52:58 AM
haha! as fascinating as it is whimsical, i especially liked the warm over-all vibe to it and the description of california, but atop all:

trundling skunk, trundling skunk

fantastic piece.

--
my enemy said to me, "love your enemy."
and i obeyed him and loved myself. gibran
~Pinocchio-Liez:iconPinocchio-Liez: Apr 12, 2006, 11:58:01 AM
Reminds me of spring...that just decided to peek its head around about two days ago! I've missed you man...I really have!! My favourite of this piece is actually the first one...the juxtaposition of the cricket and the image of an ant {well...I know it's not quite literal...but I like the image you see when you use the word "antsy"} is quite interesting. All in all...a lovely piece!!

--
May God help me if I ever have to use my art...:blackrose:
~childoftheuniverse:iconchildoftheuniverse: Apr 12, 2006, 5:44:20 PM
I always thought that it was horrid for a bee's health to get wet... or at least that it couldn't fly.
all my points got mentioned: cricket vs ant / california orange: great line breaks make that piece beautiful (also the line break after sounds in the first piece is killer!) / title = great addition to an old style / trundling skunk: great sound ... actually sounds depressing. like depressing half-shuffle footsteps.

the boulder piece feels very sad to me as well. like life's passing by and you're not grabbing at enough of it, sort of vibe.
i love the oscillations that this carries.

--
There are three mirrors in my apartment. If I broke them all, would I still be here? -- Elizabeth Brewster
!inziladun:iconinziladun: Apr 15, 2006, 3:39:45 PM
title = great addition to an old style

it's actually a practice going back a long way, it was used to indicate the time and place where/when the haiku was written. never in very common use, I think

--
but, mainly, Stay Classy
*anarchypress:iconanarchypress: Apr 16, 2006, 7:16:04 AM
The one about the bees is easily my favorite, simple and graceful. Such a vivid natural image.

~M

--
You are the circus, I am the freak. [link]
~childoftheuniverse:iconchildoftheuniverse: Apr 20, 2006, 2:55:09 PM
cool. never knew. i was about to think i wouldn't learn something today...

thanks!

--
There are three mirrors in my apartment. If I broke them all, would I still be here? -- Elizabeth Brewster
~zebrazebrazebra:iconzebrazebrazebra: Apr 22, 2006, 12:43:26 AM
I love them all, as usual. Do you ever take a break from being wonderful? :heart:
Previous Page12345...Next Page

Site Map

©2009 deviantART. All rights reserved
About Us | Contact Us | Help & FAQ Advertise | Services Etiquette | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Copyright Policy